| Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 |
| 4:27 pm |
This one couldn't wait.
"user advised that a tofee sweet fell into the printer, the paper fed through the printer taking the tofee sweet with it
the printer smells of burning as the toffe sweet has gone through the printer
user advied they are unable to use the printer as the printer has tofee inside it" |
| Saturday, May 10th, 2008 |
| 5:53 pm |
You crazy Japanese!   God bless you, you crazy island nation. Although I didn't know they had carnies over there. |
| Saturday, May 3rd, 2008 |
| 6:34 pm |
IV
For those who haven't heard yet, GTA IV is good. Really good. Maybe _too_ good?
Any tiny flaw in the game sticks out a mile because the rest is just so polished. I'm not saying Rockstar should settle for level mediocrity because I love them pushing the boat out, it's just that I can't help but feel that the game may have been a better experience if it were not as good. The smallest problem or glitch now makes me rant or weep.
I'm fucking conflicted y'all.
Still it's well worth the money, _well_ worth it, and I have no regrets about having the limited edition version which comes with some typically high-quality goodies. Rockstar's attention to detail is second to none.
Now comes the science, feel free to tune out.
The game cost $100 million to make, that's the most expensive videogame of all time peeps. It took three and a half years to make, Rockstar set up an office in NYC for research, Rockstar North took two trips to the city as well as getting Rockstar NYC to send them, amongst other things, data on neighbourhood ethnicity and videos of traffic patterns.
The game has made $186 million in its first day out. That's the highest grossing opening day of all time yo!
In short, this game may not herald a new age in videogame production, I think that happened some time ago, but it does represent the best implementation of this new way of making games. Go, play it. |
| Saturday, April 26th, 2008 |
| 10:45 am |
GTA4.
Well, it's only a couple of days away and I have a problem. I have built this game up so much that if it doesn't be awesome straight out of the box (or preferably even whilst inside the box) I will probably die of disappointment.
How can I temper my expectations? |
| Sunday, April 20th, 2008 |
| 12:05 am |
|
| Thursday, April 10th, 2008 |
| 3:15 pm |
Knackered.
"user advised passbook printer is making a crackling noise and also has a burning smell"
Of course we replace burning kit, although usually we wait for it to go out before sending an engineer. |
| Sunday, April 6th, 2008 |
| 11:42 am |
Guns don't kill people... ...Alzheimers does!Man, I've forgotten how many films I've seen Charlton Heston in and I'm not even a cinephile. |
| Saturday, March 29th, 2008 |
| 4:39 pm |
Land of the free from prosecution.
Charges have been dropped against a fifth defendent in the Haditha trials. For those with short memories this was the Iraqi town in which eight US Marines are alleged to have killed 24 men, women and children in retaliatory killings following a bomb attack on their convoy. At this point I see little hope of justice being served.
From Reuters - "Marines have testified that Tatum, who initially faced more serious charges of unpremeditated murder and negligent homicide, was among those who "cleared" two Iraqi houses after the roadside bombing, resulting in 19 deaths.
"Another Marine testified Tatum told him to shoot a group of Iraqi women and children he found on a bed in a closed room. That Marine said he walked away but saw Tatum return and heard a loud noise, possibly gunfire or a grenade." |
| Friday, March 14th, 2008 |
| 2:53 pm |
|
| Tuesday, March 11th, 2008 |
| 3:45 pm |
Get straight to the point why don't you?
"PRINTING SCREWING PRINTER"
What a great short description. I imagine the call continues with descriptions of how printing is "fucking the printer right up", that the printer has "had enough" and that they have told the printing to "leave it, it's not worth it". |
| 9:42 am |
Ignore the spelling mistakes.
"User informs his neighbours house was hit by lightening but shot from lines and hit reset of street- including his house.
User informs at the moment- laptop does not swtich on."
What I want to know is how the user knows his neighbour's house was hit. Was he watching the storm? |
| Saturday, March 8th, 2008 |
| 12:33 pm |
Indestructible? _Nothing_ is indestructible. This is a brave boast. I look forward to pissing on their parade from a very great height. In other news I'm off to America on Thursday to see the missus, where I look forward to pissing on their St. Patrick's Day parade from a very great height. |
| Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 |
| 2:37 pm |
There's a hole in my bootlid, dear Liza, dear Liza...
I have come of the house today to find my BMW slightly less clearly marked due to the badge proudly adorning the bootlid having been nicked. I blame kids.
I feel this is the time of my life that I should turn from liberal to right-wing (the time when I first become the victim of someone else's actions) but to be honest I've done much worse when I was a kid so I can't really bring myself to have a go at them. After all, it's a badge, they're easy and cheap enough to replace and it could be worse.
Having said that my liberal tendencies would not stop me from knocking seven shades out of them if I catch them messing with my car again. I try to be a pacifist but threats to my car cause a red mist to descend. |
| Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 |
| 4:38 pm |
I didn't doctor this...
..except for removing the location to protect the innocent.
"This is now an 'edidemic' with laptop users at the XXXX location."
I like how he put his own quotes around the one word he spells incorrectly. There are no typos further up the incident to show he's tweaking the first-line's nipples or anything.
I wonder if the dude randomly puts inverted commas around words whose spelling he is unsure off as a kind of insurance policy?
Oh well, time to go sort out the laptop edidemic. |
| Sunday, February 17th, 2008 |
| 11:38 am |
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| Monday, February 11th, 2008 |
| 3:28 pm |
As long as there are users, there will be problems.
"User was sitting on a pc and the straps that hold it in place had come undone and the base unit has collapsed onto the floor. The unit turns on and beeps and then nothing happens...
User is based in team albania..."
Of course, it would be wrong to suggest that every problem is the fault of the user. Sometimes it's the fault of the first line helpdesk.
"When the machine is turned on the Hard drive light flashes and the base unit beeps and nothing else happens...hard drive failure tasking to bt to investigate"
Yeah, I'm not sure how good BT are at sorting hard drives. And just to show it's not all work, work, work, here's a lovely email reply one of my colleagues got from a user:
"Alright me chicken tikka masala???? Sorry its taken me a while to get back to u, just been busy my ends (think i run this place on my own!!!!)"
I'll have what she's having. |
| Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 |
| 2:46 pm |
It never stops.
Today we had an exec call because the executive had lost his wireless cable.
*sigh* |
| Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 |
| 3:20 pm |
WTF
"user called cause monitor has got a scar on it and 2 large bullet holes on it. They are gettting bigger."
What the fuck are they doing in that office? Where is it, Toxteth? |
| Friday, January 18th, 2008 |
| 3:09 pm |
Wha?
Sometimes the first-line helpdesk we deal with are good at their jobs and give clear, precise details of what they have attempted and what the problem is. Sometimes however, they don't.
"user has a look with the laptop that was order in september rms 1040079
preset at 0 and turn the screw
but the screw does not turn"
If anyone knows what this means please add a comment. |
| Friday, January 4th, 2008 |
| 12:23 pm |
Classic typo.
"Rang user stated they have a standalone pc which they insert a dick intoa dn run software etc."
Obviously it's tough to type whilst someone is speaking into your ear, but there is a delete key for a reason!
.p
bum |
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